My Blog

It’s been a while isn’t it? Time passes so fast in a blink of eye… I am having my semester break for my semester one… Next semester is the second semester… I am not sure whether I have lots to blog about or not but whatever comes through my mind, I will state them here… Know a bunch of new friends in university… Funny, friendly and helpful… Nobody in this world is perfect… Weird but true… They are so good in accounting, economics, business and even chinese… but they aren’t really good in english… Therefore, I helped them with all I can to polish up their english and even their assignments… Though I laughed in front of them, its not that I mean… Just that they are so cute with their language… I never laughed behind them before… I had seen so many hardworking people working hard for their assignments and finals… It’s a good thing because with those hardwork, everybody will improve themselves… Losing something but gaining something is another point… In life, everything is fair to us… God made it that way as a challenge for us… Never blame God nor yourself… It’s a task or karma for you in this life… I learned a lot and gained lots of experience in life… I learned how to enjoy my life… With my best friend as my roomate, With all my good friends around me…. giving me supports, laughter, and lastly willing to share their problems with me… I am a good listener but i am not a good helper… Life is cruel and tough… So, be selfish and considerate… Do things the right way… Make the best decision… Don’t care what others think… Its your life… You live only once… Enjoy but don’t get over excited… So happy with all my best friend and good friends around me… Can’t be describe with words… My busy life with finals and assignments might be an excuse for my relationship but perhaps my life now is not suitable for relationships… I have people to love, people to care, people to concern and people to worry… Plus I have an aim which is to finish my degree with an excellent result… All these move my feelings and relationship stuffs aside… I learned how to concern and care for all my good friends… People even missunderstand me with my good friends… But everything I care, concern and even done is with all my heart… No special feelings… About studies, I worked very very hard for my finals and assignments… Sleeping less a few hours causes my life but for my finals and assignments, it’s worth… Although it’s first semester, working hard is a must until my graduation day… I promise myself that and no more slacking… Never going to dissapoint anyone even myself… Working hard in many ways to improve myself also such as health, spiritual and mentally… Studies are not just an important thing in life… Everything is important… Therefore, I have been working hard in every means to boost up my ability in the particular life… I love my life so much nowadays… Less or don’t contact you my good friends doesn’t mean i am forgetting you… Believe it or not, Any important or even beneficial decisions will come through 6 of you… Life is full of challenges… Never cry or get down on your knees for mercy because you are the only one who can make the difference… Good luck all my good friends and not to mention my best friend…

When i am together with you,i pretend to ignore you…
But when you are not around,i look around to find you…

Friends put a laugh in my face,
But my eyes and attention only go to you…

I cannot erase all the short messages in my handphone,
Because of one short message is from you…

I kept on telling myself that you are just my friend,
But i cannot avoid your special attraction…

All the above are the thoughts of mine during school days and even now…Actually these are from a forward e-mail…its not 100% copied from the e-mail…I modified it with my feelings and thoughts…I didn’t copy everything from the e-mail because some are not the ones i feel about you…There are other feelings and thoughts,but since i read it from the mail,i just typed what is written there…I believe you will know the conclusion…I am in love with you…

‘When i am together with you,i pretend to ignore you…
But when you are not around,i look around to find you…’
This happened in the class and even in your own society…

‘Friends put a laugh in my face,
But my eyes and attention only go to you…’
This happened everytime when you are around and i m laughing…

‘I cannot erase all the short messages in my handphone,
Because of one short message is from you…’
I don’t keep your messages very long but i read them more than once for every messages before i delete them…

‘I kept on telling myself that you are just my friend,
But i cannot avoid your special attraction…’
I hate to say this because it will effect our friendship…But it does happen…I am only expressing myself…Please don’t ruin our friendship…

You are not pretty but beautiful,
You are not smart but intelligent,
You are not tall but you are not short also,
You are not slim but it is not important,
You are not kind but very very warm-blooded girl….
It’s you…Just you…Trust Me…

I meet her in the dream again…this time we are just like the normal friends in the reality…not that close…although i wish it might be better somehow…i cant really recall how was the dream like but it sounds like i had done something which touches her feelings…from there,our friendship grows until we get on a relationship…i cant believe it though…but its something that really gives me the world…i prefer not to wake up from this dream…this is not the first dream which i don’t want to get up from my sleep…i don’t know how many times i meet her in the dreams but this is the best among all because it looks so alive…she looks exactly like her in the reality…her attitude or her look is exactly the same…she is not an ordinary girl that i have known among so many girls…she gives me the feelings…i just really like who she is…although we are friends now but we don’t really keep in touch due to both of our busy lives…i know your life is extremely busy and tiring but i really wish to hear more about you…Since your life is so busy and tiring…i am glad to hear that you still look around for food and even eat a lot too…well,there are a lot of nice food around in KL…if you happen to be free,we can meet up and have some nice food in KL too…i don’t put much hope in it but i do hope you can make it too…people happen to ask me whether am i in a relationship…to be in a relationship,deep feelings that don’t fade or even big sacrifise is needed…i am not desperate to be in a relationship because i hate it if it breaks too…but i believe 1 thing…if we get into a relationship…i don’t believe the relationship will even break based on who you are…i am not close with you but i trust you like nobody else…every single thing i blog is just to express my feelings towards you…its not for the point of getting in relationship with you…as for now,we are friends…but i hope we can get closer and keep in touch more often…stay healthy and take care always…have a nice day…

Yesterday,i was chatting wif a gd fren of mine….although the conversation is less than 5 minutes,i m glad….but yet i wish to chat longer wif her…its been a long time since i last chat wif her…it seems that i have lots of things to tell her but everytime we came on9,sms o even meet…i just go blank…i really wish to chat wif her so much….i don’t know how is her condition although she said its ok but i wish the best for her….staying healthy…making up new good friends…having a gd love fate…after i chat with her,i felt kinda down…i wanted to call my best friend but i didn’t do so…but today i made him mad…i also don’t know what happened…anyway…this really hurt me a lot…i couldn’t take it…its like knife stabbing my heart,spears piercing through my heart and torns poking through my heart….my heart is bleeding really badly…i don’t know what should i do…he is the person i cherish the most among my friends…i really don’t want to lose him…he always treat me good without bothering himself…that is why i care a lot for him and dont even want to lose him…but today is something i really cant take it…dont know why…perhaps i cant take this 2 burdens at once….my brain wasnt with me the whole day…i kept on thinking and thinking and thinking…i am going to meet 2 of my friends later…i hope they can cheer me up…sometimes,i might be selfish for my friends….that is also because i don’t want to lose them…i really treasure my best friends and my good friends…7 of you…i hope everything would be better for me…i believe i will be fine 1 day…but i hope it will be fast…for love i am not sure whether i can promise forever…but for friendship,trust me i treasure you forever….

Today i woke up at 9am…i sleep again…woke up at 10.30am…sleep again…woke up at 11.20am…sleep again…woke up at 1pm…i tried to sleep again but i can’t…i just want to continue sleeping…i don’t want to get up from my bed…because when i sleep,time flies…so i can meet my best friend who is coming bak this weekend…he will be coming back together with my good friend…i hope we will have an enjoyable moments this weekends….today i felt so lonely…no friends by my side…that is why i don’t want to get up…once i get up,i don’t know what to do to make me happy…my close friends don’t ask me out anymore…my good friends are working…my best friends are busy…i really don’t know how to spend the days alone…although i am alone when i was young,i was very happy because i still can play with my toys…but now i am an adult…what can make me happy?i can just stare at the monitor for 2-3 hours listening to song without doin anything…is this call life?waiting for any friends to message me…but none…waiting for friends to chat with me…but none…so i called my best friend,he is goin out for sports…so i am alone again…my house is always quiet…who can cheer the house environment?sometimes,i am just too lonely until i go out myself…go shopping malls alone…eat and drink alone…my life is this lonely i guess….i thought of watching movie alone too before but there are no nice movies…so i didn’t watch…i am not really cheerful this whole month of april…many things happen…which i won’t state all of them…sometimes my friends have gatherings or what,they don’t call me already…because i always reject them last time…i won’t blame them because it’s my mistake…some gatherings the time doesn’t suit me although i really wish to go…i don’t ask to change the time…lonely life is really terrible…i really wish all my friends won’t experience it…nobody to talk to…nobody to care for…nobody to laugh with…i can only think back all my happy moments…at least it helps a little bit…well,life must continue no matter sad or happy…i have almost everything…but why must i be lack of friends?

i always treasure my good friends…i don’t have many friends…believe it or not?i am not really good at making new friends…but i am always grateful for having all my good friends now…thank GOD…i have all kinds of friends…each of them have their good and bad points…some of them are funny,caring and even kind…of course there are more but i can’t recall them here…of course there are bad points too…but it’s ok because how bad you hurt me o what…you are still my good friends…you guys give me the sweet moments ever happen to me before…of course i treasure all of you…but this few months if i reject or denied your offer to go out please don’t be angry or isolate me away…i have my reasons…i believe you will understand even i don’t tell you about the reaons ya…i really do wish to go out with you guys…i went out with each of you guys at least once…i believe you guys will remember…no matter my classmates,guys or gals…i really treasure each of you…if you are at my place,you will have a difficult time of making decisions…i m telling you,my friends….honestly…recently some of my friends face some problems…if you have any problems and read this blog,remember this ya….LIFE MUST GO ON NO MATTER WHAT…take care all my good friends…

what are dreams?what if you kept dreamin of the same thing frequently?do dreams have any meanings?well….dreams are something that have a lots of meanings…it depends on what you dream actually…but the weird part is you kept on dreamin of da same thing…probably about 2-3 times in a week?isnt tat weird?even i myself feels this weird but the dream is not my choice…i believe you people know about it rite?actually my dream is about you…i really don’t know why i kept on dreaming of you…is it a good meaning or a bad meaning?every dream of mine we are so close but we are not tat close as in real life…life is difficult sometimes…you like someone but you don’t intend to let her know…no matter how life has to go on…if we are that close in real life as in dream…that will be the best thing ever happen to me…honestly,it’s true…you might be happy o down o even very busy…i might not know but you don’t know that there is someone missing you everyday and hoping you are always happy everyday as well as successful in everything you do too…love can be something really great if both of the guy and girl are sincere towards each other…and of course honestly too…remember about honesty is the best policy?

my mum is the one who is always supporting me in all ways…money,love,care,concern and of course a lot more and i can’t state them all here…she is always busy thinking…about my future,financial and others…i realised about it and thats why i never complain whenever she doesn’t gives me money or even give me insufficient amount of money which i have to borrow money from my friends to eat and others…i realised about it and that is why i don’t like to waste so much money especially on games…i can feel my mother worries and thoughts even though she doesn’t tell me…she wants me to live without all these problems…she even skips her breakfast and lunch just to save some money for my future use…she doesn’t tell me,but i know…most of the time when i eat outside,i will ring her up and inquire whether have she eaten or what…besides that,she always do some sewing at home just to earn more money for me…she rarely has a nice time sleeping or even watching the television…i am quite picky on my food everytime at home because all the food my mum cook are always packets and can foods…i told her everytime that it is not healthy…but she doesn’t care much and that makes me really angry at her sometimes…but no matter how i tell her,even with a higher tune of voice…she still asks me to come home for dinner…and always try her best to prepare the dish i like…no matter what happens,my mum always stand in front of me…protecting me and love me…i hardly see her smiling face nowadays…she might looks fine but i know that there are lots of things bothering her…anyway,today is christmas and i sent a simple msg to her through handphone about christmas wishes and others…i really do love my mother even i don’t express it…i hope she knows about it…i believe…

if i say i really fall for you…will you give me a chance?i believe i can give you the love,comfort and care that nobody does…i might not be able to protect you but i will protect you with all i can…using my life as a shield for you in danger doesn’t matter…as long as you really love me as much as i love you…i will be glad to hear you saying ‘i love you’ sincerely from your heart…i don’t mind you saying once…but i will be sad if what you say its not what you mean…i really want to share my days wif joy or even sadness with you…no matter how sad o angry are you,i will be here to listen to your problems and i won’t mind being scolded for nothing…i just want to make sure that you are happy as usual because i like to see ur smile everyday…its so sweet until it makes me smile too…i won’t be angry if you have no time to accompany me because i trust you won’t betray my love…i know that you are very sincere…therefore i have no worries loving you at all…i can’t give you the world…but i can’t give you anything in my will to give you what you want…i might be shy and quiet but i want you to know that i love you very much every second even i don’t mention it…no matter where you go,i will follow you of course…that’s true if you don’t mind…whenever you are sad or depressed,give me a call and i will be there no matter wat…i can’t promise you i will always be by your side but i promise you my heart will always be by your side…please don’t leave me but love me as much as i love you please?if you have insufficient credits to buy anything or go travelling,i will definetely bring you or give you as a present as long as you like it…i don’t mind having 2 or even 1 meal a day…as long as i am able to see that sweet smile of yours on your face i am happy….when you cry,i definetely won’t cry with you but i will cry inside my heart…i am happy if you are happy…so be happy always…i can’t promise to make you smile back but i will try my very best…trust me…i am not rich yet so i can’t promise anything nice or expensive…but even a cheap thing i give you is with all my heart…i won’t b sad if you don’t like it…but i will try to get a better present for you…i will be even happier if you like the present…if you can’t come out,i will find you no matter day or night…believe me…one smile of yours really cheer my day up…this is no joke…i am serious…i hope we can get together again and be the best couple ever…i love you…